It can be really daunting to create friendships as an adult. When you grow up, it seems like there’s more opportunity to create relationships with your classmates in school, with your coworkers at work, and through various social settings. As you grow older and enter different phases of your life though those outlets can shift and look different. With my move to Austin from Los Angeles and not knowing too many people in the city, it can be a challenge to create a social foundation – especially if we’re just now coming out of a pandemic!
However, there are definitely places to turn and it’s an opportunity to get creative and stretch yourself to see what possibilities could open up. If you are finding yourself in a position where you are in search of new friendships and relationships as an adult, here are a few approaches that have helped me, that I hope help you.
I know that some people have mixed feelings with turning to Facebook but there’s no denying the power in numbers. Start searching for Facebook groups in your city or around your interests. There are several I found in the Austin area specifically for women in wellness, entrepreneurs, and so many other interest groups. There is definitely a group already formed that is out there for you and if it’s not formed, you can create it yourself! Chances are someone else out there is in search of it.
I recently went to a few meetups that I located through Eventbrite. You can also turn to sites like Meetup. In my experience I’ve not had great luck with Meetup but I know people who have attended and created really successful meetups through that site! Sites like Eventbrite are not only for ticketed “events” like it once was. Now it is for anything and everything which desires a group of people to connect.
There are so many ways you can start to volunteer in your local area. Find a cause or organization that speaks most to you in your area and volunteer in person to not only meet new people but to also do some good in your community as well.
Join a local gym
I’ve turned more toward at home workouts but if you enjoy exercising at a gym, you can turn to your local gym or even boutique fitness studios. Create consistency in your workout regimen and schedule and chances are you may begin to see some of the same people – who can also become your accountability partners!
Ask your friends
Ask your existing friends or people you know (and like) if they know of anyone they could introduce you to. This can often times be the best way to meet people because there’s a built in trust in connecting with others that likely have a similar energy. Birds of a feather…
Know your neighbors
Depending on where you grew up or what you are used to, getting to know your neighbors might seem foreign to you. However, it can be a great place to get to know people and learn what their interests are. How convenient would that be to be friends with those that also live close by!
Connect with an online community
If you are open to creating connections and friendships virtually, consider connecting with a community in Facebook groups or in dedicated online communities. That’s part of the reason why I created You Are Here, so that people would have a space to feel supported in their growth.
No matter where you turn to to create these friendships remember the following tips in case you feel discouraged by the process!
- Be more of a “yes” person than a “no”: ‘Do you want to go to the movies?’ ‘Do you want to go to brunch?’ Saying yes to more opportunities to connect with others will give you that many more opportunities to form a bond.
- Be open to possibilities: You may have a sense of what your interests are and what you like but don’t be afraid to go outside the box and get out of your comfort zone. If you’re introverted, try stretching yourself and going to a group setting where you meet people. If you’re extroverted, be open to forming connections virtually. The more open, the less closed off you will be to new energies that come your way!
- Be curious about people: You may not think you’ll have something in common with someone but we are all more alike than we are different. Be curious about all people.
- Be consistent: Creating friendships takes consistency. It’s much like dating where you can’t expect to meet with someone once a month and form a deep connection. Be consistent with all of your relationships and schedule time in to check in on them.
- Be patient: Friendships take effort and time. Think about your closest friends and how much closer and comfortable you are with them now vs someone you just met. Be patient in forming friendships! I’m confident that you will meet who you need to, with time!
Please share below if you are finding yourself needing to make friends as an adult and what your experience has been like.