I’ve been in therapy before but after a couple of months I’ve always felt I was “better” and I stopped going. This past year though, I’ve been the most consistent I’ve been in going to therapy regularly and while it’s been extremely emotionally heavy and exhausting, I feel set free by so much of what has kept me heavy hearted. In addition to therapy, I’ve also incorporated coaching into my life as well (coaches need coaches) and I wanted to share just a few of the realizations and breakthroughs that I’ve experienced this year in hopes that it can help you in some way in your journey to healing and growth.
I am accountable for my own actions
It’s much easier to see what other people are doing and how they need to change; however, the hard work is looking in the mirror and seeing how you are contributing to a situation. Are you taking ownership of your own actions? Are you so focused on what others need to be doing that you aren’t focusing on what you actually have the power to be doing to create positive change and transformation in your life?
Responding is different than reacting
One is completely measured, thoughtful, intentional. The other is a snap reaction to what you’ve heard or experienced and it is often times not the most helpful way to move forward in a situation. Responding gives the brain a chance to “cool” and create space so that you can intentionally think through a desired outcome in a situation.
Sweat is good for mental wellbeing
We all know that we feel good from the endorphins we generate when we sweat from a good workout but if you needed a reminder of this, well, here it is. I needed to do what I could to keep me from spiraling downward and even going out for a hilly walk outside to get my heart rate up helped lift me up.
You are not your brain
Our thoughts and feelings can trick us sometimes. We can feel we’ll be sad or helpless forever and that is our natural state but it is not. It’s our brain doing it’s thing like it does but we are a whole human outside of what it tells us. Our thoughts and feelings are ever changing. Just because you feel one way now does not mean that is the truth of who you are. Drilling down to the core of our humanness is vital to our ability to rise above our own thoughts and feelings.
Everyone lives in their own reality
Don’t argue against someone else’s reality. We all have our own unique opinions and perspectives from our viewpoint. It is very difficult (and impossible) to change someone else’s reality so stop frustrating yourself to change someone else.
Frustration occurs when you’re not aligned
Most times when I’ve felt frustrated is when I’ve acted or behaved in a way that does not align with who I am or what I value. There is no other deeper meaning than my actions being temporarily incoherent. Frustration can be alleviated with not just time but with course correcting so that the next time I am able to act in such a way that reflects who I am.
Everything you feel is normal
There’s no “only you” feelings. The exact experience may be unique to your life but the underlying feelings you feel are universal. No one is ever in isolation. Feeling like a failure, like you’re unworthy, like you’re not good enough in any way? Great! It only means you are human, welcome to humanity.
Your thoughts do not have to dictate your actions
Just because you may feel like a failure in some way or unworthy in some way does not mean your next actions have to exemplify that. Your actions can still continue to move you forward towards your life’s vision. I could get down on myself for not being consistent with exercising but all the while could also put on my running shoes and go for a jog outside. Allow your actions to trump your thoughts.
I hope that these learnings help you in some way. Know that you are not alone, there is support around you always. Are there learnings you have from your personal growth story?
I’m happy to connect with you on a call to learn more about what you may be struggling with.