Most people want to be more confident but truthfully it doesn’t always come innately to many people. It is truly something you have to be conscious of and put your mind to. Having more innate confidence enables you to live life more fully and bask in the whole self of who you are. If you are trying to build up your confidence, what approaches have you taken?
A lot of people look outside themselves to build confidence, looking for the extrinsic validation through material possessions and fancy titles. True confidence though comes from within, it’s an innate confidence from your internal compass that just might not have been unlocked yet. Let’s explore how we can begin showing up in life as our most confident self.
Identify The Causes Of Low Confidence
If you can get to the bottom of what causes low confidence then you will have a road map for how to actually be more confident. Identifying what the root cause is will allow you to know what to address to begin with. So what are some of the causes of low confidence that people tend to come up against in their lives?
For instance, if you do not have a general level of faith in your own abilities and skills due to a myriad of reasons, perhaps stemming from limiting beliefs, that could prompt low confidence in yourself. Firstly, allow yourself grace and compassion. Ask yourself if the story you’re telling yourself of not being good enough in your abilities or skills is even true. Often times we believe old versions of ourselves to be our present self, when in fact those stories we believe are just that, in the past. You might have had an upbringing where you were not really taught to believe in yourself or care for yourself, and in that case this might have had an effect.
It might also be that you have experience of being rejected by your peers, which is also a common cause of low confidence that you are going to need to be aware of. All in all, the reasons in which we have low confidence can be difficult to pinpoint and professional help from a therapist or coach may be needed. The first step though is being willing to explore the root of your low confidence.
Lean on Reflection to Explore Your Confidence
Though this process can be difficult to pinpoint, some times the hardest part can actually be understanding yourself through reflective moments. Notice when your confidence is weakest or when you feel most vulnerable. Is it when you are talking to others? Why is it that others create an energy of low confidence within you? Asking yourself ‘Why am I feeling this way?’ through therapy, personal journaling or meditation can be the first step.
Figure Out What Confidence Feels Like
Very often, people struggle to get confident because they are not actually sure of what confidence feels like. And not knowing what you are aiming for, you might think it is related to all sorts of other feelings and situations which are not actually relevant at all. That can then cause trouble in terms of trying to find the right route towards better self-confidence.
So you need to figure out what confidence feels like and how you are going to make it come true for you. To do that, all you need is a little glimpse of it, and if you think about your own life there have probably been times when you have felt a lot better about yourself or naturally confident. Usually, that was because you had the necessary skills to do whatever you were doing or perhaps it was because you got the right amount of rest you needed to have a clear mind. Think about what confidence feels like and when you experienced it.
Once you have that feeling down, you can then work on some of the more practical steps to put yourself in more situations that give you the confidence practice you need to begin to build yourself up.
Match Your Exterior To The Interior
While exterior posessions as mentioned above shouldn’t be how we achieve innate confidence, sometimes doing the small things can be what helps us create a sense of confidence in ourselves. We don’t mean you need to buy a whole new outfit but what are ways that make you feel good about yourself? It could be a full night’s sleep or doing a full Korean skincare routine. You might even find that starting with something simple like doing your hair will do the trick. Whether it’s coloring it, or starting a new regimen with pre-shampoo treatments, and showing yourself care in some way can support your confidence.
Sweat and Glow From Within
It’s amazing how much of a difference it makes to how you feel when you are physically fit. Getting plenty of exercise actually turns out to be one of the best things you can do to build up your confidence. If you don’t currently exercise enough, think of small ways you can kickstart your fitness routine. Be conscious and intentional when working on your physical health as it will have a positive impact on how you feel internally and externally all at once.
Change Your Mindset For The Better
You can actually change how you generally approach things mentally, but it can take time and you will likely need to put intentional effort into it. One approach is to tell yourself positive affirmations.
Confidence is within me.
I value myself every moment of the day.
I am growing and learning new skills every day.
The power inside of me has no limits.
Through these affirmations you can begin to shed the negative self talk, the lack of confidence and start to do self work to building yourself up to exude the confidence that is innately in you. Doing self work isn’t easy work but it’s the most important work of your life.